I used to ask my 18-year son how his day was, whenever I picked him up from school.
But in the last few years, his answers have mostly been a monosyllabic “Good”.
And then he looks at his phone, leaving me to feel like his personal driver.
I switched tact recently. I started sharing my work issues and asked for his opinion.
One word: Wow.
My son would ask me questions to understand the issue.
He’d often have a different perspective and suggest options I never thought of.
On occasion, he’d even ask me about my progress a few days later.
What was a new communication strategy with my young-adult son led to two great reminders.
1️. Asking someone for their views and advice makes them far more engaged in our issues.
At work, if we’re trying to build a new relationship with a colleague, boss or client, seeking their advice – in the right way – helps deepen the relationship.
2️. My son doesn’t overthink the issue; at his age, he analyses things by focusing on the issue’s most important goals.
While some would say that’s not very holistic, and while some of his suggestions might not be practical, one thing was clear: The clarity of youth is a strength.
Too often, there is no perfect solution to meet all goals or to keep all stakeholders happy. When that happens, it helps to know our North Star.
So let’s start another week today with a gentle reflection on:
“What’s most important to me this day/week?”
I find the simplicity and clarity of the question liberating.
Have a great week ahead.